Worry

Human beings have the amazing ability to think about future events. ‘Thinking ahead’ means that we can anticipate obstacles or problems, and gives us the opportunity to problem-solve, plan solutions and take action. When it helps us to achieve our goals, ‘thinking ahead’, can be helpful. For example, studying in preparation for an exam that we are worried we may not pass.

It is only when we get stuck thinking about a problem that worry stops being functional. This kind of ‘thinking ahead’ or excessive worry often leaves us feeling anxious or apprehensive.

Research shows that we all worry, and we all worry about the same sorts of things. How much time we spend worrying and our difficulty disengaging from worry determines whether our worry is problematic or not. Whilst most people worry and have negative thoughts from time to time, for the most part these worrisome thoughts are short-lived, either giving way to a different thought topic popping into mind or being put to rest by positive problem-solving action.

Worry only becomes a problem when it is very frequent and is difficult for us to control or disengage from, effectively trapping us in our own negative thoughts. This repetitive negative thinking has a circular, spiral or snowball-like quality to it, because the same negative stuff keeps getting rehashed over and over making the topic we are worrying about bigger and bigger in our mind.

“What if….” Worries
People with generalise anxiety often have an internal conversation about things they fear might happen. This kind of worry often starts as a “What if ….” Question like:

• What if I can’t get to my appointment on time?’
• What if I fail my exam
• What if I can’t do my job
• What if I can’t provide for my family
• What if something happens to my child
• What if my husband/wife has an accident

One “What if …” question can play in your mind like a song on repeat, and the words can sound something like:

• What if I lose my job
• I won’t be able to support my family
• My family will be disappointed in me
• They won’t be able to stand having me around
• They may leave me
• I will have no one
• I can’t lose my job
• But there are so many cut backs going on
• What if I’m next?

This kind of worry chain just takes you in circles, leading nowhere particularly productive and is very anxiety provoking.

Worry can be triggered by various things. Some triggers may be more obvious and linked to external things, for example:

• Seeing a certain image in a newspaper or on TV
• Hearing certain information on the radio or in a conversation
• Being put in a certain situation e.g. having to make decisions, perform a task, lead others

Some triggers may be less obvious. These may be thoughts or images that seem to just pop into your head out of the blue. An initial ‘What if…” question that comes to mind for no apparent reason may be a trigger for worrying if we don’t disengage from it and begin to chase the thought further. For example the thought “What if I left the iron on?” could lead to “the ironing board might catch fire and spread to the whole house”, “the house might burn down and I will lose everything”. The initial ‘What if…” question has now triggered a worry episode.

What can I do about worry?

It is natural for you to worry, but if you feel that it’s becoming excessive and taking over your life – for example if it’s making you anxious, or if you’re struggling to sleep – then it might be worth trying to find ways to limit the time you spend worrying, and taking steps to manage your well-being.

• Give yourself a worry “budget,” allow yourself an amount of time to worry about a problem. When that time is up, consciously redirect your thoughts.
• Write your worries down. Research has shown that just eight to 10 minutes of writing can help calm obsessive thoughts
• When you notice that you’re worried about something, push yourself to come up with a next step or to take action.
• Ask yourself “Is this a problem that I can do something about?” – focus you energy on the things you can do something about and let go of those you can’t.
  • The Worry Tree and Circle of Control are effective tools to assist with this.

Remember, worry is only helpful when it leads to change, not if it turns into obsessive thoughts.